Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

They say never wake a sleeping baby. But how about, never wake a sleeping mommy?

Just when you figure your baby out, they change. Of course, Jack, who slept around the clock for the first 3 months, has changed his tune. At 4 ½ months I’m now waking every 1, 2 or 3 hours. It’s been like this for the last few weeks. Perhaps it’s the 4 month sleep regression that I heard so much about and was in denial over. Or perhaps it’s because my milk supply has been low and he’s trying to get as much milk as he can. Or perhaps it’s because he uses a soother (perhaps why my milk supply has struggled and my period came back early – and perhaps it’s my period coming early that caused the low milk supply) and he awakens when it’s no longer in his mouth. There are a lot of perhaps and a bit of a circular action occurring. I don’t know how to tell the end from the beginning. Can you tell I’m confused?

So it’s fair to say that I have sleep deprivation, which is such an aggravating and powerless position to be in. I feel like I have no control over my basic human need to sleep. Sure there are alternatives like formula feeding, pumping, etc. But I’m not in that head space yet or I’m stubborn. I envy my husband who has the freedom to sleep uninterrupted. And on the other hand, I marvel at the women who have more than 2 children or have them close together in age (I don’t know how they do it).

I rest in the assurance that this too will pass; I call upon the help of those who are able to help; and I give myself a lot of compassion when I use vices I may not prefer to use. I remind myself that when my children are teenagers, they will be overdosing on sleep. We’ll soon have the opposite problem – the challenge of waking them in order to get to school on time. For now, I’m going to choose to be content with the season that I’m in and get as much sleep as I can get. I have concluded that although I can’t control fragmented sleep throughout the night, early wake times or short naps, I can control the time I go to bed. Therefore, I’m going to make whatever efforts I can to tuck myself in early in order to make the night that much more bearable.

Find out the signs of sleep deprivation and the rest of my sleep deprivation story here

 

 

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net